Eva Ulian DOGS and CATS... what people say...

95. A Message from Louis J.

2012-02-06T13:20:00.003+01:00

Kitty Tiger gathering leaves

Kitty Tiger has found a new game- he brings dead leavesinto the house. The beauty of it is thathe is not satisfied with any old leaf- no... it has to be the biggest and thedirtiest he can find. And there he is playingwith them, all his waking hours- fortunately he does get exhausted at times andtakes a nap- thank goodness!

Thank goodness Kitty Tiger stops for a nap

Otherwise it’s the same music, every time the door opens,in he flies, morning, noon and night. It’sa good job my Mistress does not open the door all that often in winter.

Even so, there are leaves all over the place: to the rightof you, to the left and centre- wherever you look there are leaves. The house simply looks like a bar- in effectwith all of us around, it IS a barn. Ohhow Saint Francis would have been so proud of her- my mistress, I mean.

As for myself, I think with regards to my Mistress’attitude I would much more go along with this idea from Louis J.

Saint Francis would have been proud of my Mistress but...

"Cat people are different, to theextent that they generally are not conformists. How could they be, with a catrunning their lives?" - Louis J.

94. A Message from Faith Resnick

2012-01-20T12:15:00.000+01:00

As you can see from theintroductory picture I have taken a step backwards and allowing Kitty Tigertake centre stage. Also from the pictureyou can see why I suggested to my Mistress to change his name from an insignificantGrey to a name that is more akin with the streak of ferociousness that at timeshe displays as in this picture- there he is wickedly scheming to pounce on poordefenceless creatures like myself.

Indeed, one may grow fond ofkitties, if one really has to, and even have a conversation with them- butplease do not expect me to like them... such would be asking for too much- itjust goes right against my docile nature to do so... No, don’t let the picturemislead you, I could never ever like a kitty!

I am saying all this because a ladywho kept many cats in her yard and when the neighbours threatened to shoot themshe said:

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice intheir next life."

- Faith Resnick

So that’s why I am compromising.

93. Doggy Berrilla’s Favourite Blogs for 2011

2011-12-30T18:35:00.000+01:00

If you care to join in the frolics, brawls, sarcasm and general malcontent ofliving a life with an imprecise number of ineffectual kitties and an equally ineffectualtwo legged Impressionist writer and painter, please join me, Doggy Berrilla, inmy choice of blogs for 2011. Blogs arein chronological order not in order of merit... Merit? What’s that?

Home http://evauliandogsandcats.blogspot.com/

1. A Message from Murray Banks #71

2. A Message from Robert Valiquette #73

3. A Message from Shakespeare #77

4. A Message from S. Parkes Cadman #79

5. A Message from Fran Lebowitz #85

6. A Message from the Duchess of York#86

7. A Message from Katie Schwartz #87

8. A Message from #Pope on Twitter#88

9. A Message from Georg Ratzinger(Pope’s brother) and a video #89

10. A Message from St. Francis Assisi#90

92 Moments of Joy

2011-12-24T21:10:00.000+01:00

WISHING YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND MAY THE NEW YEAR BE BETTER

CORO I BORGHI

Via Dante, 45

Centro Don Gnocchi

31020 San Vendemiano

Treviso

91. A Message from George Orwell

2011-12-06T20:18:00.001+01:00

The things I have to put up with!

I havecondescended to let Grey Kitty share my opening picture with me just to show mygood will towards lesser creatures than myself. Actually, if I don’t, my Mistress will put me in the dog house.

In this picture I am purposely directing myattention to my mistress to prove to her that I am an exemplary doggy and nonebetter could she find.

Grey Kitty simply gets under my skin- Arrrgh

After all,another doggy would have eaten up this little lump of Grey in one mouthful forsupper!

NaturallyI have complained to my Mistress that she is spending an inordinate time intaking care of Grey Kitty. She washeshis eyes, morning, noon and night, puts strange drops in them- though I mustadmit he has improved a great deal from when he first came- he looked a sorrysight as you can see here.

Even I had to admit Grey Kitty was in need of attention

Butwhat I think is unpardonable is that Grey Kitty has difficulty in going to thetoilet and meows, even if diplomatically, to draw my Mistress’ attention, andwhen she approaches the litter box he is successful in discharging hiswaste.

However, between you and me, that’sbecause my Mistress makes his shit... literally.

Ohdear, this is just too much!

My dad Billy puts up with Grey Kitty better than I do, they even kiss... ugh!

It’sso true what one writer said:

"All animals are equal but some animals aremore equal than others." George Orwell

Now that Grey Kitty's eyes are better, my Mistress had better draw the line

Sigh!

Related Articles:
90. A Message from Saint Francis of Assisi

90. A Message from St Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

2011-11-19T16:11:00.001+01:00

I don’t know what has got into my Mistress’ head,probably suffering from some kind of imaginary mystic calling- she thinks sheis St Francis, you know, the one who spoke to the animals and made friends witha wolf.

She found a kitty among the chopped up wood forthe fire-place. It was so tiny it curledup, the whole of it, in the palm of her hand.

When she came in with this creature in her hand,she wouldn’t let us doggies have a bite at it at all- went straight into thebathroom, gave it milk, water, chunks of cat food, and a basket. She then came out and locked the door afterher- so there was not peeping, no, not even one.

Our mistress gave us doggies a real lecture onhow to behave with guests, especially if those guests are our antagonists-kitties! She also said she would notallow us near it until we showed ourselves to be in a better disposition toaccept what is so contrary to our nature- kitties.

She said Grey Kitty, or so she called it, is aboy and his eyes not only were shut by catarrh but squashed- he was in aterrible shape with an awful cold as he must have been out on his ear all thistime through the nasty rain and floods we have had recently.

We should therefore be considerate and swallowour prejudices against kitties- that was a tall order, I yapped back. But, Imight have known it, sure enough she started sermonizing to us that humans arepart and parcel in taking care of God’s creation even if at times He manages onHis own, as St Francis said to the birds:

“Mybrother and sister birds, you should praise your Creator and always love him: Hegave you feathers for clothes, wings to fly and all other things that you need.It is God who made you noble among all creatures, making your home in thin,pure air. Without sowing or reaping, you receive God’s guidance andprotection.” St Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

I looked at my Mistress through my beady eye- Idon’t think I like this God of yours, He’s too partial towards kitties andbirds...

No, He’s not! My mistress answered, just thinkhow wonderfully cared for you are, not to say spoiled- I even let you sleep onmy pillow! Even though you may turn a blind eye to it, she continued, God useshuman beings to look after His creation.

Humm... I said, He’s not doing a good job withyou- when’s the last time you gave me a nice juicy bone???

Related Articles:

91. A Message from George Orwell

89. A Message from Georg Ratzinger- The Pope’s Brother

2011-09-30T19:28:00.000+02:00

The shocking thing about today’sblog is not what Georg Ratzinger said about his brother’s views on doggies andkitties, though that too, when I first heard it made me reel over a bit- no-what is truly shocking is that my Mistress has actually posted a video of me. I may have been more tolerant of the fact,but she is absolutely useless at taking videos.

Italian kitties are not like German or Anglo-Saxon ones

Actually I didn’t give her myfull permission to do that but she insisted that some people do not think Iactually write this blog, in fact they don’t think I exist at all.
But I’m not the only one thatcauses quite some disbelief in people, some people don’t think that PopeBenedict XVI exists either, well not in flesh, blood and bones.
Bones! Did someone say bones?

But let me not wander and getback to the point, people may concede that Pope Benedict XVI exists even in actualflesh and blood but because nothing much has ever been said about what makeshim tick they don’t really think he has any views, feelings, or preferencesabout what touches him, us, everyone in life. And few of them can’t even envisage him being in a family with a mum,dad, brothers and sisters.

That’s why I went to investigateabout what the Pope thought of doggies and kitties. And did I have a set-back when I heard fromhis brother Georg that the Pope’s

penchant for cats is legendary.

However, Iwas somewhat comforted to hear Monsignor Georg say:

There used to be many cats in the Vaticanbut not now. He's sorry about that. He always enjoyed a special cat in theCampo Santo (cemetery) which always had a friendly attitude towards him.

Italian cats are all little bit morealoof, unkempt, and not as communicative as our cats. Perhaps they are not so spoiled.

There’s a lot I could say about that, but Iwon’t... at least, not now, anyway. AndI must apologize about my Mistress posting this video about me, but you don’thave to watch it, honest!

88. A Message from #Pope

2011-09-08T18:15:00.000+02:00

Kitties may be superior creatures, but we doggies are faithful and hard working.

I am so put off that kitties arealways up centre stage that I’ve decided to ignore them and put a picture of a moreworthy type of animals to open up this blog post.

What could be more in keepingthan sheep to blog about an absent minded Pope on Twitter who well and trulylives here at the Vatican, being the Good Shepherd and allthat... or was that Jesus? I’m afraid I’venot studied my catechism of late, I guess I need a doggy who has closer contactwith these things... anyone know of a doggy who lives in a Monastery???

Ireally could do with a doggy that actually parades up and down the corridors ofthe Vatican so as to be better updated, but they don’t have doggies livingthere. Maybe they should, after all theyhave a doggy at the White House.

Perhapsthe reason why the Pope doesn’t keep a doggy at the Vatican is because healready has Kitties who have made their abode there. I know that is so because when he went toMadrid in August he twitted this:

I'm still awake! So hot in#Madrid11! Now I'm worried I didn't lock the Vatican Door!!!!!

#Pope

Which would have been quiteacceptable to me were it not for the tweet that followed:

Now I'm worried I didn't feedthe cats, never mind locking the door to the Vatican!!! #Madrid11

#Pope

That really made me see red!

It seemseveryone is concerned about kitties, but they, so kitties claim, areindependent creatures and so superior is their intelligence that they may be evenentrusted with the updating of tweets... and if it is the Pope’s kitties who actuallydo the tweets at http://twitter.com/Pope_Vatican forhim, is something that would not surprise me at all.

I do believe the Vatican's kitties update the Pope's tweets

On theother hand the only duty of consequence my Mistress has assigned to me is this,plain and humble blog. But you see, thecategory of us doggies is known for their humility and faithfulness which willget us to heaven much easier, since the pearly gates will be opened wide whenwe doggies arrive and those kitties will have to squeeze through the railings,if I have any say on the matter.

The Pearly Gates will open up wide for us doggies- the kitties? That's to be seen.

87. A Message from Katie Schwartz

2011-08-28T18:17:00.000+02:00

I’ve had to put my glasses on, not that I like them, or even need them but as my Mistress was frantic since she had not seen Kitty #1 for 4 days she asked me to look for her.

I assured my Mistress that I did not need glasses, and my eyesight was purr-fectly fine but since I had not noticed that Kitty #1 was not in sight she told me I was as blind as a bat.

And this brought out a remark made by one of my Mistress’ Twitter friends who said

I wonder if animals have vision problems? If so, I wonder if they make animal eye wear. I need to look into this for absolutely no reason. Katie Schwartz

It was then my Mistress had this bright idea of making me a pair of glasses- and black at that, on a white doggy of all things!

But after the big storm we had yesterday, Kitty #1 came out of her hiding hole, eyes open wide with fright, placed herself on the window sill and tapped on the glass with her paws.

Of course, I pretended not to notice and that is why I am still wearing glasses... while Kitty #1 is back at the computer again without them... life is just not fair on doggies!

About Katie Schwartz

Comedy Writer. Mr. Rogers, MacArthur Park, As Time Goes By, wind chimes - all creepy. See Rolodex. Nobody else has a bruise journal? Founder, DearThyroid.org

86. A Message from The Duchess of York

2011-08-16T18:16:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone, my name is Kitty No. Two and the lump next to me is Billy the doggy who is Berrilla’s daddy.

Even though I’m not in too much of a communicative mood, yet I must since Berrilla the doggy handed over all her blogging powers for this post to me, in complete affray... I had never seen her so distraught.

The reason being is that she has a real English Duchess following her on Twitter, and she was so over the moon that she asked the Duchess what she thought of doggies and kitties- and you’ll never guess what the Duchess of York answered- well here it is:

I love animals I have 3 cats and have had a dog in past xx

The Duchess of York

Harmless enough you may say, but not to doggy Berrilla who, as soon as she heard, yapped all around the yard, valley and hillside these two words: “three cats!”
The Duchess of York has three cats, doggy Berrilla yapped, and no... yes... no dogs!

I tried my hardest to persuade doggy Berrilla that there was nothing personal in what the Duchess had said without adding the obvious- (that’s because kitties are by far, far superior beings).

Eventually doggy Berrilla calmed down asked the Duchess:

“But you did have a doggy in the past?”

“Yes, darling,” graced the Duchess

“Then, you are forgiven,” snivelled doggy Berrilla whose smile had then returned at the sound of that magical word: “darling!”

85. A Message from Fran Lebowitz

2011-07-29T20:29:00.000+02:00

Why my Mistress put this message from the American Author Fran Lebowitz in front of my paws for me to type up, I dunno as it simply just does not apply to me at all:

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

I do quite a lot of yapping, but I do that on my own terms, with my own four paws firmly on the ground.

However, the kitties are the ones who are naughty enough to presume they can have exclusive access to a conversation with human beings and they place themselves regally on my Mistress’ blue dining room chair. They have done so ever since they were babies, taught of course by Mummy cat.

As they grew older they got closer and closer to the table area, but I noticed my Mistress was shrewd enough to remove all edible substances from the surface. Not that such would stop them, they were forever on the look-out working under the premise that dinner time, sooner or later had to come.

But the kitties aspired to greater things than the satisfaction of the stomach- they saw the advantages of intellectual activities and that’s how they came in possession of my Mistress’ desk, personal computer, telephone and so on.

As far as I’m concerned I prefer the lower regions of the dining room furniture and the kitties had not dare breathe a word that I am below their station...

Otherwise I could get very nasty when I blog about them!

84. A Message from Anne Tyler

2011-07-08T14:27:00.000+02:00

On chicken salad days my Mistress takes up her plate and locks herself in the downstairs bathroom, re-emerging only when every crumb has been eaten. The same occurs for pork chop, steak, or sausage and bacon days.

She only has but to unwrap such pieces of delight that suddenly all the kitties appear from nowhere ready and in attendance to participate in the feast.

The same thing occurs when she comes home from shopping and only yesterday, when the retinue of kitties and doggies gathered around the boot of her car did I hear say to our neighbour what Anne Tyler, an American novelist once said on the matter:

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!

Anne Tyler

Aw... but that’s not the real reason why deep down we all love our mistress... honest!

83. A Message From William Ralph Inge

2011-06-30T16:45:00.000+02:00

I may complain at times because my mistress is not altogether what I would consider an ideal mistress for doggies, but all in all our existence is a happy one.

I can play with my mother and brother whenever they stroll round to see me or even have fun with the kitties though they do not take to kindly my chasing them about. But at least they, as kitties have a much greater chance of escaping the cruelties of humans than we doggies do.

There are humans who beat us doggies with a whip or stick or kick us about as if we were a football- they do it to kitties as well- but kitties are smatter and they can run away.

Humans can catch us doggies easily, tie us up, and make us freeze in the cold or swelter in the heat without batting an eyelid as to the pains we go through in putting up with their whims and fancies.

That is why I’ve decided to point out to her what a certain English clergyman, scholar and writer said:

We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form.

~William Ralph Inge, Outspoken Essays, 1922

Not of course that these words will reach the eyes and ears of those who need to see and hear them... and so I rest my case with you dear bloggers to spread.

82. A Message from Henry Beston

2011-06-20T10:45:00.000+02:00

First with psychology and now with philosophy, my mistress is really putting the pressure on me as to my content blogging...

Gone are the days when I could write carefree snippets of us doggies, and if I must, kitties, frolicking around the plains...

Now my mistress is into deep stuff and she wants me to post a quote as long as your arm by an American author and naturalist Henry Benson, so here goes:

We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals... In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.

Henry Beston 1888-1968

Now that you have read all this, is it any wonder that I am getting somewhat worried about my mistress' prospects for the future? Who knows with what she'll end up next.

81. A Message from Sigmund Freud

2011-06-15T11:41:00.000+02:00

Much to my horror, I have first been encouraged and then, upon my show of reluctance, ordered to do this blog about kitties!

There are so many things that can be said in favour of the benevolence of doggies, but no, my Mistress insisted I blog about kitties!

Yes! Said she, I want a quote from a proper psychiatrist on the effects pets have on the human psyche.

Well, she needn’t have gone to that extent, I could have given her a simple answer for that- without us doggies, how uneventful would her world be I asked.

Nothing doing she wanted an answer from a proper psychiatrist- so much to my better judgement here goes:

Time spent with cats is never wasted.
Sigmund Freud

80. A Message from Joseph Wood Krutch

2011-06-06T13:04:00.000+02:00

I have often mentioned that my Mistress believes cats, because they are so prone to disorders of all sorts, she must therefore devote more of her time to them than to me.

Quite honestly I believe that is just an excuse for getting out of scratching my head whenever I am near.

So one day I decided to confront her by quoting what a learned writer and naturalist from Tennessee once said:

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."

- Joseph Wood Krutch

To which my Mistress with slow, deliberate squinting of the eye reproached: “Just look who’s talking!”

79. A Message from S. Parkes Cadman

2011-05-30T11:48:00.000+02:00

I am not at all partial at having humans on my blog, however, when they enter into my kingdom, that of four paws, I guess I have to make an exception.

So it occurred that my Mistress set out to see the world yesterday and bumped into these creatures which she neared with delight, so much so she wanted to immortalize the occasion and had a picture taken with them.

And that’s just not fair! She never does it with me!

When she saw the expression of malcontent in my left eye, she woofed at me in that strange word language of hers and explained that humans must treasure such moments with four paw creatures because as a famous clergy man and newspaper writer once said:

Personally, I would not give a fig for any man's religion whose horse, cat and dog do not feel its benefits. Life in any form is our perpetual responsibility.

~S. Parkes Cadman

Ok, just this once I’ll let her get away with it.

78. A Message from Dick Dale

2011-05-20T09:54:00.000+02:00

My Mistress has been quite slack of late, not so attentive to doggies needs as she should be.

Just because she sees the kitties come back with bites and scratches after rambling in troubled waters she concentrates her entire being in dishing up delightful nourishment to strengthen their, what she considers quite
erroneously, weak systems.

At which point, we doggies, unanimously have opted to search other pastures, our neighbour, the lady next door. She indeed has her priorities in the right order as the man of the surf guitar Dick Dale said:

There's a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around.

Dick Dale

Even if it is only a doggy like my daddy.

77. A Message from Shakespeare

2011-05-15T10:50:00.000+02:00

For the sake of quiet living, I try my hardest to second the whims and fancies of my Mistress, but there is one thing I must put all my four paws down and that is her adulation for some geezer who isn’t even on our time length but lived over five-hundred years ago, would you believe it!

And that is not all.

She now indulges in carelessness and forgets to give me my bone so I call her up on it in the most appropriate bark I know- and she of all things has the boldness to confront me with that geezer again and say:

I am Sir Oracle,

And when I ope my lips, let no dog bark!

The Merchant of Venice. ACT I Scene 1.

That’s because Shakespeare knew no better and despised doggies... he couldn’t have been English!

76. A Message from Rodney Dangerfield

2011-04-16T12:37:00.000+02:00

As I trot along with my Mistress when she goes on her many turns around the field, my mother and brother who live next door, come along too.

My Mum (left) talking to my Brother

Now, I don’t mind that, it’s all right by me if they wish to partake in my Mistress’ benevolent nature, but sometimes they do try to overstep the mark and monopolize her attention.

I'm the one with my backside to the audience

So I yapped at them in no uncertain terms that I am, and only I, am my Mistress’ No. One doggy- after all I am the one who gets the brunt of it all when she is out of sorts.

No sooner as I said that I heard my Mistress mutter to herself something from a man who liked to make people laugh:

“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

Rodney Dangerfield

Who me? Well sometimes perhaps.

75. A Message from Franklin P. Jones

2011-03-18T18:53:00.000+01:00

My Mistress claims that in her reverent age she needs more rest than in the past. So I often spy her catching four winks on the sofa and I creep up and snuggle ever so closely on her tummy.

Then I unobtrusively pull out my best paw and scuff her hand into motion, which, her state of half in sleep and half awake makes her automatically scratch my head. When she lets up in scratching my head, I pull out my paw and scuff her hand again, and again until I see that look in her face that tells me she is about to say one of those terrible, unpronounceable words of hers.

So in my wisdom, and in order to avoid a catastrophe, I quickly take a lick of her nose, which calms her down immediately and whisper to her, you know that ...

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

Franklin P. Jones

74. A Message from August Strindberg

2011-03-01T23:44:00.000+01:00

I was talking to my brother Boschi today, complaining that my Mistress was not at home yet again. She spends half her life listening to other people’s woes, I lamented.

But she is not in any way charitable about it at all because sooner or later she will invite those people here knowing that we doggies will harass them so much that it will scare the woes out of them for keeps.

You see, I explained to my brother, using a quote made by the Sweedish Dramatist

August Strindberg:

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

That’s why my Mistress needs me so badly.

73. A Message From Robert Valiquette

2011-02-09T18:39:00.000+01:00

I was having my say on Facebook the other day, truly protesting about the unfortunate condition I am forced to live under- the supremacy of the kitties...

and I was not the only one to do so. My Mistress too found it utterly intolerable that she has to shut herself up in the bathroom to eat her roast chicken and salad lunch.

Upon which one of my Mistress’ Facebook friends said, that was perfectly right since:

“They allow you to dwell in their domain.”

Robert Valiquette facebook.com/you.reblessed

However, he then corrected himself and said such was not of his doing- he did indeed confess:

“My cat whispered that quote in my ear.”

Which of course I considered not to be much by way of consolation.

72. Do You Know Who Said This?

2011-01-31T20:45:00.000+01:00

My Mistress’ desk is hallowed ground- even I am not allowed on it. Yet the kitties not only sit there right next to the PC screen but also have the affront to complain that our Mistress is misplacing precious time... in other words she should be making a fuss of them instead.

Our kitties have an awful habit of yelling their heads off when they want attention, be it inside or outside. And it doesn’t end there, they infect the neighbour’s kitty with their malevolent intentions....

You see, kitties are obsessed by what someone said, but I don’t know who said it that:

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~ Anonymous

I just can’t see why their ancestry goes to the head so... why can’t they behave just like normal animals as me... I am not in the least bit proud, now am I?

71. A Message From Murray Banks

2011-01-18T18:16:00.000+01:00

My mistress was complaining today that she has too many clothes and barely wears a third of them. She says most of the ones she doesn’t wear are kept for a special occasion.

We doggies and kitties don’t really understand why humans are so passionate about clothes because we have our own- and that’s where all the trouble starts... my Mistress said, because you see, humans too want the clothes we wear.

Quite honestly I panicked a little when I heard that and wondered if she was after our skin. So I told my brother to stop lazing about on my settee as something nasty might happen to him.

Then I ran off to see my daddy and the kitties, but none of them seemed concerned about the matter.

I told my mummy, and my mummy said I should not jump to conclusions and try to think nice thoughts about my Mistress, since mummy thinks my Mistress believes like someone else who knows what he’s talking about, because he does a lot of it, that:

No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.

~Murray Banks

So, my mummy said, don’t worry, your Mistress would much rather have you running around her legs than wear you like a stole around her neck.

70. A Christmas Message

2010-12-24T22:55:00.000+01:00

I thought my Mistress would not let me bark out my Christmas greetings this year since the cats had peed on her Christmas tree and banned all four legged creatures from partaking in the festivities- or so I thought.

Then today on Christmas Eve she puts these silly red hats on us and tells us all to bark, meow, chant:

Merry Christmas to all our Blog Readers and

a Happy New Year...

Of course you are going to help us get on the New York Times top selling list, aren’t you? Woof woof....

69. A Message from Colette

2010-12-14T22:43:00.000+01:00

My mistress is always off busy taking photos of people and I am sorry to say she is getting somewhat neglectful of us, her four legged creatures who share the same habitat.

When the kitties went under with a bout of flu, the only thing she did is put them on a special blanket on top of a cushion. I made sure to keep my distance on the other side of the settee... what, with all those sneezes going on, I had no intentions of getting infected every time the kitties opened their mouth and slobber all kinds of germs over me- ughh!

Yet in spite of such affliction, our mistress nevertheless saw fit to go to the village party last Sunday for those members of the community who are no longer young and sprightly like us... You can see what she got up to here. So when she returned I reminded her of where her priorities should be in no other words than those once spoken by a fellow writer:

“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.” ~Colette

I wonder if our Mistress will even give that a second thought and maybe become aware of where her true duty lies... which is certainly not with all those of her own kind at all.

68. Out of Reach

2010-11-29T13:47:00.000+01:00

As soon as us doggies get out of this cage
we are gonna do some chasing... kitties!

We all know cats climb trees in a shot, especially if chased by yours truly.

But Mummy Kitty really exaggerated today- look where she has decided to park herself.

My Mistress, instead of saying what a silly imprudent kitty she was, praised the wonderful agile and courageous qualities Mummy Kitty, in my opinion, seemingly, possessed.

Sitting there so smug...

“Hum...” I thought, “she got up there, fine, but it’s another thing getting down. How many fire-fighters have been called out to get reckless cats down from a tree?” As far as I was concerned she could stay there!

Out of reach!

My Mistress looked at me with that unmistakable eye of disapproval and said that Mummy Kitty would come down soon enough so long as I got out of the way. Kitties are not stupid! She insisted.

There, that’s a nice punch on the sooty nose of an intelligent doggy as me! Well, she’s not going to get away with it- my mistress, I mean.

67. Black Cat’s Day

2010-11-17T13:35:00.000+01:00

When the Black Kitty was born I was hardly anywhere near the age of reason

The world in it’s wisdom has decreed today the 17th November as Black Cat’s Day, because black cats have really had a hard time of it all. In Britain a black cat may be considered lucky, but in Italy such a cat is doomed as being the bearer of all ill tidings and bad luck that can be poured upon anyone that should stumble upon one.

The only real black kitty of this household

Fortunately, I have never had direct dealings with a black cat myself. When the kitties were born, I was hardly anywhere near the age of reason, just a ball of cotton wall . But I do believe there was a 4^th Kitty who was indeed all black... however, poor mite, he only survived twenty days.

This Visiting Kitty was not really black

Then, and this one, I do remember well, a visiting cat came in Spring to really annoy me- but I don’t think that one counts because he was a bit white under the collar... still he created me quite a few problems when demanding my Mistress’ attention. He probably came to see what kitty he could deflower, and having come up with a few blanks I do believe he went running back from whence he came.

Mummy Kitty is a real decent kitty even though she is not totally black either

Of course, Mummy Kitty is a kind of black, but that’s okay, she can stay, because she doesn’t really rub me up the wrong way, being a lady, she is far more genteel... well at least up to now she has been, and you know that between girls we are more likely to see eye to eye on things.

So that ends the black cat dynasty in this household- Happy Black Cat, everyone.

66. Morning Revelation

2010-11-03T19:20:00.000+01:00

While my mistress was dressing she heard a frantic meowing which sounded as if some kitty had been buried alive.

She looked through the window and saw a kitty meowing like some desperate soul on the window sill. But as my mistress opened the window the kitty darted away in great fear. It couldn’t have been one of our kitties, I said to my mistress- our kitties would not run way from me.

“You bet!” my mistress said to me darting out of the door to see where the kitty had gone. On her way out she counted how many kitties were loafing around in the living room, two- there were definitely two. So the one on the window sill makes three, I prodded.

But when she got out my mistress did not see any kitty around- of course not, my mistress is somewhat dim at times; the kitty had come into the bedroom through the open window. My mistress was trembling with incredulity and I wondered why on earth she kept putting out her fingers and counting one, two, three; one, two, three over and over again with the poor kitty meowing her head off in desperation- she was famished.

It took a while before my mistress started moving herself and going to the fridge door to get some kitty food and when she did... there they all were on the garden table eating breakfast while my mistress kept on counting on her fingers again: one, two, three... Anyone would think she had seen an apparition- I know it was All Souls Day, but creatures do not resurrect from the dead just like that... or do they?

Anyway, my mistress acclaimed that Kitty Number One was lost and now was found so she got out the best juicy stuff I had tasted in quite a while. After which, Kitty Number One slipped behind Kitty Number Two as she had always done, in her old motherly, protective way and licked her all over. Then Kitty Number One fell asleep and did not stir until midnight when my mistress finally closed up Twitter and packed us all off to bed.

Ah what happiness!

65. A Sad, Sad, Day

2010-10-31T09:49:00.000+01:00

Sad it is when you live with someone, months, years and then find they are gone.

When my Mistress did not see Kitty Number One turn up for breakfast, she kept her eyes peeled all day to see if Kitty Number One would make an appearance, but she didn’t. And when again Kitty Number One did not turn up for breakfast this morning, my Mistress had a sad, sad look on her face, and I knew I would never see Kitty Number One again.

Kitty N. One (left) behind Kitty N. 2 (black nose) to whom she felt most protective

I looked for Kitty Number One everywhere in the woods around here, but with the hunting season on and guns blasting all over the place, I just shook my head and gave up too, just like my Mistress.

Kitty N. One used to wait for me at the fountain

I may just be a doggy and you may just have been a kitty, but I shall miss you Kitty, because to me you were Number One all the same.

64. Monkeys Again!

2010-10-27T19:44:00.000+02:00

Chittorgarh

After Kumhalgarh, my mistress went to Chittorgarh, the so much contested bastion and of which I cannot even begin to number the events that makes it the most renown fortress in the whole of India. So my mistress could not but visit what is so central to her book Rajput.

Mother and Child are not messing about

You would think in the place where a war and a kingdom was lost because of a beautiful woman, among many other things, my mistress would spend time looking at important things. Instead of taking photos that will illustrate her narrative history, where does she end up- right there, underneath the trees with the monkeys again!

Just to remind everyone that
I am the one who is writing this blog

She showed me some photos of her own sweet self fraternizing with such creatures but I refuse to let her post them here- after all there is a policy- this is an animal only blog.

I really must apologize for this "human" intrusion

Oh well, maybe I could make an exception I suppose, and just give you a backside peep of her as she tries to “Monkey around”-

Not an edifying sight by any means!

63. A message from Elias Canetti

2010-10-15T18:23:00.000+02:00

Apart from visiting schools and giving talks, our Mistress also went to see those places she had written about in her history book “Rajput”.

So one blazing hot sunny morning she takes a car to the renown fortress of Kumbhalgarh which sadly tells many unhappy vicissitude of the Rajput Princes. This is where Maharana Udai Singh II is taken to safety by his nurse when he was still a child which she did by sacrificing her own son in place of the young Prince Udai. You can see the rest of the story here: 3. Kumbhalgarh Hides The Young Prince Udai

At the foot of the fortress, just as she was about to start the climb upwards, a strange creature stood right in the middle of her path. My mistress already feeling dizzy by the sun stopped for rest on a bench when she was soon surrounded by more of such creatures.

I have never seen such creatures look so much alike to my mistress’ features. You would think my mistress would feel quite at home in such jovial company...

Well, not quite. She told me they were cheeky and tried to open her bag to grab her sandwiches, without a by your leave or a please and thank you. She felt quite put out by such cheek and that we, her pets, were far more well behaved. Nevertheless not by much, since she still said that:

Whenever you observe an animal closely, you feel as if a human being sitting inside were making fun of you. Elias Canetti

62. A Message From The Dalai Lama

2010-08-28T23:27:00.000+02:00

My Mistress was reading out loud to us today from her book Rajput the story of how Padmini, the wife of Maharana Ratan I of Mewar, foiled the Sultan’s attempts on getting his hands on her and carrying her off to his harem. And we, doggies and kitties were all wondering why the Sultan Ala-ud-din (now you know where the name “Aladdin and the Lamp” comes from) was so keen on just a woman.

“Oh but she wasn’t just a plain and simple woman, she was the most beautiful woman of Mewar!” Our Mistress insisted. She came from Ceylon, the tear that hangs at the bottom of India, just a tiny speck compared to India. “So is Tibet, such a small speck in comparison to China,” our Mistress informed us. “And although, The Dalai Lama is not a woman, he is a great and wonderful creature, and that is why the Chinese have banned him from Tibet, his own country.”

Then I reminded our Mistress that she was banned in China- “Is that because you too are a great and wonderful creature!” We doggies and kitties asked in chorus. Well, the look she gave us made me fear that she would lock us up behind those gates again, but this time, throw away the key.

So in order to avoid our Mistress should commit some drastic action I reminded her of something the Dalia Lama had said:

“Life is as dear to a mute creature as it is to man. Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures.”

The Dalai Lama

But really the Chinese authorities are needlessly preventing their people from having access to a world of historical magic such as the history of Rajasthan posses, and that, even I think is in itself an act against human rights.

RAJPUT: Princely Warriors of Rajasthan

61. A Message From John Holmes

2010-08-11T19:11:00.000+02:00

This has been quite a week-

the first week of doggies freedom since the rabies ban last November.

There are many things I enjoy...

I enjoy going round to my neighbours and see if they have a bone for me.

I enjoy digging holes in the earth and burying a bone.

I enjoy not having my Mistress breathing down my neck any more.

And I enjoy chewing up that hateful lead my Mistress used to demand I wear whenever I set foot outside the gate.

But most of all I enjoy playing with my brother and mother and father all together...

Ah yes, my father Billy has now become, as my Mistress would say, almost human and actually talks to my mother again, I guess they have a lot to say to one another.

Same thing with my brother, here they are.

And I love this, mummy giving my daddy a belt round the ear holes... as my Mistress would say, just like humans.

And oh, how I wish my Mistress would stop saying dogs are almost humans. Next time I see her I’m going to remind her of what someone said:

A dog is not ‘almost human', and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. John Holmes

60. Oh Happy Day!!!

2010-08-04T13:51:00.000+02:00

Today the shouts, rather,

the barking of joys

echoed through the

hillside-

Liberation Day.

After 10 months of captivity us doggies could now run free up and down, round, back and forth upon our hillside.

That’s why I thought I should share my picture with my brother, Boschi... I wonder if anyone remembers him?

We had lots of confidences to share in these awful months of being apart.

I asked my brother how he had been all this time. All he could say is “It was awful, really awful.”

I noticed my mummy, Roxy, had put on weight, not moving around and she agreed, it was absolutely terrible. “But now I am happy.” She barked. She was overjoyed to see me.

Unfortunately my father, Billy, had to stay in the dog-house as he wanted nothing to do with his “wife” and “son”. And I thought that kind of thing only happened with human beings. He is completely estranged to them and my Mistress says it will take him time to be friends with them again. But at any rate our happiness continues...

59. A Message from Missy Dizick

2010-07-30T12:21:00.000+02:00

Don’t let the picture of those baby kitties on their first day out deceive you. They are not in the least bit helpless.

They will hunt down their enemy, my own self included with unfaltering attention.

After having consulted an artist who spends most of her time painting cats, I will agree with her when she says:

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
Missy Dizick

Now, I’m wondering what those other fine qualities are???

58. Too Many...

2010-07-17T01:43:00.000+02:00

Just because you always find me stretched out here in the sun, it does not mean I do nothing all day. Indeed, I have to battle my way on a daily basis trying to keep these unruly Kitties in hand. A rather thank less task – do you think I even get my Mistress to say so much as a thank you for all the efforts I undergo for her sake?

Indeed not! Take the other day- my Mistress was sweltering under the sun trying to catalogue her paintings from the “Stains of Thought” series which is not an easy task for there are so many of them. What is more, not having a superb memory, she takes photos of each one so she can remember what they are... at least, I can’t see the point in doing that if it were not so.

And do you think our Kitties give her a hand in all this? Quite the opposite, they hinder her continuously. They don’t really do it on purpose, as I found out when I gave them an eye to eye lecture on being helpful and reminded them, their efforts could be interpreted as interference since even as far back as the 16^th century people used to say that

“Too many cooks spoiled the broth.”

So to their protest of swearing they were being truly helpful I had this to say:

“Not by sitting on top of her paintings!” I scolded, “You simply can’t do that, that’s art work!”

But when Kitty looked up with those innocent eyes of hers as if to say I was the one who had got it all wrong, I realized, she wasn’t at all naughty... just dumb! Yet they do say cats are intelligent!

57. A Message from William Hazlitt

2010-07-05T21:26:00.000+02:00

When my Mistress brings up from the basement a blue trolley and starts putting things in it, we doggies and kitties know we are going to be orphaned for a while. So this blue box has been considered with great contempt by us whenever we spy its appearance. It has been yelled at, smelled, and urinated upon.

Actually the urination is so our Mistress can smell us and not forget of our existence.

Mind you, my mistress is not all that perturbed at the fact of leaving us and that in spite of our often quarrelsome misunderstandings, without her we will feel lost, absolutely totally lost.

“Away with you,” she says chiding, “I will suffer more than you.” She insists because she believes what this English Essayist said:

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.

William Hazlitt

As if we would not know the difference if she should be here or not!!!

56. A Message from Mohandas Gandhi

2010-06-29T17:43:00.000+02:00

I remember when I was a baby my Mistress came to fetch me and put me on her divan, I was scared to death and couldn’t imagine how I was going to eat without my mummy.

Then when the kitties were born, people often said to my Mistress surely you are not going to keep them all? When they were babies they too were frightened and I’ll never forget the first day my mistress took them out in the garden- they were full of surprise and wonder.

People just don’t believe that is possible, that doggies and kitties can feel some of the things that humans feel, otherwise they would not drown them, beat them up keep them away from their sight as if we do not feel any sort of loneliness.

My mistress knows of a little doggie who died of a broken heart because he was kept locked up in the garage on his own most of the time, and told us that a great man from far country called India once said:

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

Mohandas Gandhi

55. A Message from Abraham Lincoln

2010-06-16T18:41:00.000+02:00

My mistress was discussing something of consequence with us doggies and kitties just as she was off to church and we looked at her as if to say, “Why can’t we come?” She answered that she would love to take us but we were not allowed in church.

Then she shut her eyes and cried “Just imagine the disaster you lot would create in a church.”

So we gave up the idea of going to church with our Mistress, but before she left, I said to her, “Could you not arrange for a day just for us? We could all gather in the square, bark, owl, yell and scratch for a blessing, like they do for the bad boys and girls?” And then I drew upon my last card- a message from Abraham Lincoln:

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. ~Abraham Lincoln

“I am not going to entertain the idea of exorcism, even though you four legged creatures certainly are in need of it- it seems...” My Mistress answered.

“Only four legged creatures?” I woofed back, “why? Don’t centipedes count?”

54. A Message from William Ralph Inge

2010-05-31T16:06:00.000+02:00

Coming back to what we discussed last time and that some people think we non-human creatures do not need humans to care for us I quickly set about looking for some authority that would prove such people otherwise.

And I bumped into a most scholarly Anglican pastor who during his life time was known as “The gloomy dean”... This message I have chosen for you today gives you some insight as to why this should have come about:

53. A Message from Francis of Assisi

2010-05-13T18:13:00.000+02:00

I got rather angry the other day because some persons that came to visit turned up their nose at the fact that my Mistress washes, feeds us, pats us and generally make a fuss of us not human creatures. They said it was misplaced charity and my Mistress would do herself and the world a favour if she devoted her attentions to uncared for children or the helpless aged instead of wasting her energy on us.

She turned round to them and in no ungentle terms pointed out that she did what was in her power to do but that there was nothing to stop them from doing what they had suggested.

When they had gone, she turned to us doggies and kitties and said, of course, that went into one ear and out of the other for:

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men. ~St. Francis of Assisi

52. A Message from Edward Abbey

2010-04-23T22:05:00.000+02:00

Ever since my Mistress has had her book published, we doggies and kitties hardly ever see her anymore. She pops out in the morning saying she is only going to the post office, but heck, how long does it take to post a couple of books or so to India and England. But then there’s libraries and newsagents... she says she keeps meeting people and of course, from her straw beach bag, out pops a copy of Rajput- not that any one will buy it since there’s no one around here who can read a whole book in English. But she just does it to show off and have people ask her what’s it’s about and then the chit chat never ends- it’s a half-miracle if she comes back for lunch at all.

However, she is not a full hundred per cent egocentric because she sneaked away and took photos of the little donkey born just a few days ago... I wonder if anyone recalls that my mistress once mistook a baby goat for a donkey and it was only until I pointed this detail out that she shamefacedly tried to make amends. Anyway here is a link to that most embarrassing moment:

But if the truth is told, I am convinced my mistress is not all that bothered about impressing people about anything because I am convinced I am the complete centre of her universe and as Edward Abbey said:

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey

Possibly my Mistress is a bit of a rebel like Edward Abbey because she keeps saying:

"Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top." Edward Abbey.

And yet, there she goes again, off with her straw beach bag and copies of Rajput in it!

51. A Message From Theophile Gautier

2010-04-14T20:33:00.000+02:00

A few weeks ago our Mistress wrote about the way animals were not regarded as “pets” in Southern European countries. You can find this blog in her series, “Italy and back”

So I surfed around the net awhile to find out more and discovered, it was not always so. Even as far back as 200 years ago people actually believed, we doggies and kitties were human.

Take this author born in France way back in 1811- He said:

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!" ~ Theophile Gautier

So, I’m glad humans have their values in the right perspective... some of the time.

50. A Message from Rudyard Kipling

2010-04-04T21:19:00.000+02:00

My Mistress has barely paid any attention to us doggies and kitties recently. She has been all wrapped up in letting her friends, those who still talk to her, know about her new book that has just been published.

She has been busy putting up her profile on all the different Amazons in the world... But when she came to Amazon in China, I heard her say a word under her breath that it would not be lady-like of me to repeat here, because they have banned her book there, wiped out her name completely from existence.

And that was, she said, among other things, due to matters of human rights, one of which being that she claimed His Holiness Dalai Lama was not a wolf in sheep clothing as the Chinese say he is.

Anyway she has always been on the computer and has not given me any space at all to post a blog...

Actually her book “Rajput” is full of adventures, intrigue, war and even hunting... a completely new world... the history of the Kingdom of Mewar as is what Rajasthan was called when she sets down her facts, which she tells like a story- she got that idea from this author who knew India well and said:

“If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.

Rudyard Kipling

Read the first chapter here

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

49. A Message from Edith Wharton

2010-03-16T18:55:00.000+01:00

When I was a baby I was allowed to roam far and wide, though secretly both my mummy and Mistress frowned upon the matter...

The reason being that one could not predict where or what I would get up to next.

So my Mistress kept her beady eyes focused continuously on me and would boast to all what a famous American Novelist said:

"My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet." ~ Edith Wharton

Though that could hardly be further from the truth, my Mistress needed goggles to find the little speck of me that I was then in those days.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

48. A Message from Jerome K. Jerome

2010-03-10T23:14:00.000+01:00

This is me when I was a baby- wasn’t I cute?

The reason why I dug up this photo of me as a baby is because I want to tell you how I learnt to fall into the graces of the lady of the house, namely my Mistress.

My daddy Billy taught me a few tricks, for example even if it goes against my better judgement, never argue with the Mistress...

But it was my mummy, Roxy who whispered the real secret in my ear which came from an author that my Mistress knows well since he came from the same home town of Walsall in England and she had read his book, “Three Men in a Boat”. He said that doggies:

“... never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” Jerome K. Jerome

And indeed, that is what I have done ever since.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

47. A Message from Warren Eckstein

2010-03-04T00:12:00.000+01:00

I’m keeping a low profile on this one because my Mistress has found a quote, in favour of cats, what else? And she insists I blog about it. What joy!

Of course if I put my foot down, I could refuse and there’s really nothing much she will do about it because, my Mistress simply lets everything slide- which means that the kitties take over.

Oh don’t be taken in by their licking and purring that’s just how they get round to getting their own way with my Mistress, because you see:

"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat"
~ Warren Eckstein

And even if they seem not to be looking, they have you tapped.

46. A Message from Charles Doran

2010-02-23T00:14:00.000+01:00

My Mistress was being very philosophical today after posting a picture on Facebook of a doggy used by the society against the abandonment of dogs in Italy.

We both agree, and so do the Kitties, that people should not give doggies as presents for Christmas or birthdays only to risk that such a doggy will be let loose on the motorway next time the family goes on holiday.

Because some people just don’t see the nobility of a creature on four paws. Let’s face it, they just

don’t care.

So I asked my Mistress what God thinks of such things done to those Creature that He had created for the aid and comfort of mankind.

She said that God has a special system of judging people when the opportune time comes...

“Oh,” I asked, “and what may that system be?”

“A man's soul can be judged by the way he treats his dog."

-Charles Doran

Hum, thought I, I’m not really sure how good a score

my Mistress will get on that.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

45. A Message from A. Whitney Brown And George Bernard Shaw

2010-02-17T14:33:00.000+01:00

A TV Presenter on a lunchtime cookery show on Italy’s channel one state television gave out recipes on cooking cats.. Even though I am not a great fan of Kitties, I do think he deserved what he got- suspended.

As soon as Kitties got to hear about it, they started protesting that I should blog about it.

So, I came up with these messages in their defence:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.

George Bernard Shaw

Though I know my mistress has received other messages which instigated to cause some injury to the Presenter’s lower limb area.

And as far as I am concerned, you know where he can go, don’t you?

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

44. A Message from Hippolyte Taine

2010-02-13T00:00:00.000+01:00

Today my Mistress gave me a nice leather bone to chew, and when she does anything nice like that, I know she is up to something. She told me she would be out for a few minutes and I was to behave by keeping myself busy chewing the bone.

Not a word about where she went until I saw the photos on the computer- cats again! Bee and Bo.

They are neighbours’ cats who think they are too important to come up to this side of the woods and mix with normal, ordinary cats like my Kitties here...

Well at least Bee does, since she looks like the Queen of Sheba all dolled up and furry.

To make matters worse Bee sits or rolls over and poses just like a born actress for the camera.

And to add insult to injury when my Mistress came home she had the nerve to tell me:

"I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." ~ Hippolyte Taine

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

43. A Message from John Steinbeck

2010-02-09T14:30:00.000+01:00

I am hiding behind this pine tree so that I won’t be seen by that new prowler that has come to interfere with my domain...

Can you see him, there he is at my Mistress’ back door! Blacky!

He must have been through quite a few scrapes before reaching MY abode- and I should like to emphasize, it is MY abode, so it is useless for that Blacky to sneak around the fence as if he is going to stay.

Humm... Blacky has also made friends with the other Kitties, even Kitty Blue eyes... yes, I believe he has certain intentions that I do not much like.

It’s Blacky's intention of course, to stay as I am sure he has used his charm to convince my Mistress by these totally unpardonable words:

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."

-John Steinbeck

What look??? Meddling cats!!!

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

42. A Message from (Dame Edna) Barry Humphries

2010-02-05T22:50:00.000+01:00

There’s something strange going on, I can smell it in the air and hear all kinds of bleating, ba ba ba sounds.

My Mistress told me she was tied up on the road this morning and had to stop the car at the bottom of the hill because there were dozens and dozens of sheep coming along the way...

Along the way to where, my Mistress wondered... someone’s back garden?

Not long afterwards, here they are bleating on our hill almost on my door step...

Who do they think they are? Well, Dame Edna has an answer:

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

(Dame Edna) Barry Humphries

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

41. A Message from Jean Paul Richter

2010-01-31T19:56:00.000+01:00

There are times that my Mistress makes me want to dig a hole and hide my face in shame- she is such an ass at times.

The last blog she told me the donkey had a baby- well I have since discovered donkeys don’t have babies that are goats.

By the size of Mummy donkey, I would say the baby is still inside her tummy.

My Mistress scolded me and said

Because the heart beats under a covering of hair, of fur, feathers, or wings, it is, for that reason, to be of no account?

Jean Paul Richter

I guess I can never win.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

40. A Message from James Herriot

2010-01-30T00:37:00.000+01:00

Today my Mistress went shopping and as she was driving over the side bridge in the village one of the farmers had just opened the stable and was leading his donkey and a little baby donkey out unto the run pitch.

My mistress had not been in the best of moods because the gateman has yet come to bring the gate, then she had to do some boring paper work all over again, and she had forgotten to record one of her favourite murder stories.

But when she saw the donkey with those long ears, warm honest eyes and the baby close beside her my Mistress’ heart melted and became humane again.

When she came home, she looked at me and said:

"If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans"
~ James Herriot

And of course I looked back at her with a smile of complacency,for it is not often my mistress praises us four legged creatures, and would never dream of writing something like "All Creatures Great and small" as the gentleman above did.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

39. A Message from Joe Gores

2010-01-25T22:37:00.000+01:00

One of my favourite occupations is to stare into the black sky when most people are in the land of nod and bark at the stars... and if there aren’t any stars I’ll just bark at the lights in the village below... so long as I’m barking when everyone is dreaming, I’m quite happy. Which promptly moves my Mistress away from her computer screen and gives me a ticking off, not that I take the least bit of notice, of course.

However, I am not the only one to cause my Mistress problems, the biggest culprit is my daddy Billy who plays up to every visitor that comes around so charmingly and when no one is looking slips out of the gate, which isn’t a proper gate anyway as they have yet to bring the real one.

That’s precisely what he did Saturday morning, slipped out of the gate and ran as if wild fire could not catch him into the rabies infested woods where he just disappeared. I felt really sorry for my mistress because I had never seen her so distressed. So much so that I asked her why she doesn’t take us to the kennels and leave us there.

Anyway, Billy returned a while later and waited at the gate to be let in. My Mistress said she would never take us to the kennels in spite of all the trouble we cause but rather would have even more dogs instead- because she feels the same way that a mystery writer does who once said:

"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to." ~ Joe Gores

But for the moment I think Billy and I suffice without our Mistress feeling in the least bit old about it.

38. A Message from Vincent Van Gogh

2010-01-18T11:48:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone, I’m called Kitty Blue Eyes for obvious reasons as can be seen.

Doggie Berrilla has stepped down today because this is going to be a message which is rather laudable to doggies and our Mistress thought it would be more appropriate that the individual concerned does not sing his/her own praises.

The message comes from a famous painter that our Mistress is much fond of- so much so that she copies his sunflowers all over the place in every shape, form, place, quantity and size as above.

Berrilla is all set and ready to hear her praises sung:

"If you don’t have a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life." -

Vincent Van Gogh

Though daddy Billy, a less vain creature, has his mind on other things.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

37. A Message from Dereke Bruce

2010-01-14T18:56:00.000+01:00

It is well known that we doggies are more affectionate creatures and we have a greater regard for the infallibility of our owners much more than Kitties do.

Kitties are quite rude creatures really and can give a naughty long arm and elbow sign to send their owner to Coventry.

They don’t take the slightest bit of notice of me either when I show my teeth as I put them in line.

But human beings are different they need doggies and kitties as Dereke Bruce said:

“In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.”

Dereke Bruce

However, if the truth be told, there are times when doggies and kitties agree on one thing, "God gave us human beings so that we can have a life of ease, leisure and comfort."

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

36. A Message from Wesley Bates

2010-01-09T23:16:00.000+01:00

Ever since they have put us doggies under house arrest I have become more aware of things that fill a house... like tables, chairs and my Mistress’ desk – a real depositary for all kinds of goodies she hands over every time I go and scratch her thigh- quite honestly she spends far too much time in front of a stupid screen on top of her desk with the Kitties instead of taking me out walkies... yes even when there’s rain, I love it when it’s pouring.

But coming back to my Mistress’ desk; I noticed that she doesn’t have what normal people have on their desks, pretty holders, vases or souvenirs, instead she has lumps of cats. Cats sprawled out, curled up or sitting down. She claims:

"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat." ~ Wesley Bates

Even when the Kitties make their abode on the window sill and let the rain fall down their backs, they sit perched straight as if they were made of porcelain clay.

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

35. Message from Mary Bly and Rudyard Kipling

2010-01-03T19:02:00.000+01:00

I am not too happy on what some people say about us doggies and kitties when they make statements to be applied to all doggies or to all kitties. It’s like saying all Welshmen can sing and Scots are mean.

Take this:

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." ~ Mary Bly

My Mistress will agree with the kitty bit - she can call me all she likes but if I’m otherwise engaged, I certainly will not be moved.

In spite of being on a lead I am not budging until I finish making my snowball.

And then of course you have this gentleman saying:

"The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him." ~ Rudyard Kipling

Not so with our Kitty. She simply gets wet feet at the thought of going out and striding into the snow like a brave soldier as I did.
WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

34. Christmas 2009

2009-12-23T23:39:00.000+01:00

33. A Message from Karel Capek

2009-12-20T19:58:00.000+01:00

I have tried very hard to explain to my Mistress that we doggies are not human beings, for which I am most grateful.

Consequently, we like to do things that humans don’t.

Apart from putting my nose in the snow, I simply don’t like to be put on a lead and be taken around the place as if I didn’t have four legs of my own. Instead of being understanding about the matter my mistress said:

If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people. ~ Karel Capek 1890-1938 Czech Journalist

And you know what?
I don’t care a fig!

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge

32. A Message from Mark Twain

2009-12-18T13:07:00.000+01:00

My mistress has been none too happy with the goings on of her own kind.

She says people can be so uncivilized and insulting to one another because they don’t use their brains and only listen to their brawns.

I’m not going to let her give any examples here as you can see those on her own blog. I don’t want my blog to be full of human beings who are violent on the net, who are loutish in their comments, who only express the worst they have in themselves.

I think we four legged creatures are better than the rest of the so called intellectuals going around in some parts of the net, even though we only have our instincts to guide us and nothing else.

And we Kitties are of the same opinion, for once. We are not the only ones either, I found this guy agrees with us too:

"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me." Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907

WestBow

Eva Ulian is a fan of

WestBow Press

Create your Fan Badge